Home For the Holidays: Environment

If you plan to visit your loved ones this holiday season, take a non-judgmental look at your loved one’s environment. Here are a few things to take note of.

The Refrigerator and Pantry

Check expiration dates. Check not only in the refrigerator and freezer but also foods and spices in the pantry. It is so easy to lose track of how old food and spices become. This happens to everyone and may not necessarily mean anything other than they have old food. Some older adults may find it wasteful to throw away food. If there are no expiration dates, err on the side that it’s old and throw it away. If your loved one has dementia, they may not be able to determine if foods are bad or spoiled, so it’s important to get rid of old foods.  If you are interested in getting rid of any items, always ask permission first and of course, try not to be judgemental. Plan ahead and know when the trash will be picked up. Also,have a plan on replacing the old foods. Will you go to the store or buy online or will you take them to the store and shop together? You don’t want to create more problems by creating a mess or leaving holes in their pantry.

Clutter

There are different levels of clutter and messiness. If someone has been messy all of their lives, chances are they will be messy as an older adult. It becomes a concern when the clutter is a fall risk or the messiness causes health hazards. 

Are there piles of newspapers and magazines all around? Be a detective and try to figure out why? Could it be as simple as it’s too difficult to take out the trash? Are there steps involved and mom is using a walker and she feels its unsafe? If possible, have a main trash can located in a convenient spot and if you live out of town, ask a neighbor or a friend to take the trash out on trash day. 

On the other hand, if the house is so cluttered or messy that you fear it’s a hoarding problem, I’d suggest talking to a professional organizer who specializes in hoarding. Hoarding is a psychological issue and requires special handling. Hoarding is not someone who is messy.

Finances

It’s important to see if mail and especially bills are piling up. For obvious reasons, unpaid bills will create serious issues. 

Talking about finances can be a sensitive issue. Some folks are very private with their finances and may feel it crosses a line to discuss with their children. If that is the case, perhaps you can suggest a third party to help. It’s better and more cost effective to get someone involved before anyone needs the help. It can get messy cleaning up financial problems.

Now, if your loved one is comfortable discussing finances, take some time to learn about how they are handling everything. Know where passwords are for online transactions, make sure bills are being paid and check to make sure they aren’t paying for monthly subscriptions they aren’t using or don’t need. Be on the lookout for scams as well. This time of year is the worst!

Car and Garage

Don’t forget to check out the garage area and their car. I still remember when my Dad confronted my grandfather about his car so many years ago. The car had so many dents from little fender benders. He never told the insurance company because he feared my dad and my aunt would find out and take away his keys. And guess what? That’s what happened. It was really an awful situation. When they confronted my grandfather about the dents, he actually started to walk backward to leave the conversation. The problem was that they didn’t have any plan in place–they just told him that he couldn’t drive anymore because it was too dangerous. That’s it!

There are several ways to do this much better. First, make sure they understand that they could actually be sued if they hit and hurt anyone. We live in a very litigious society and it can be lucrative to sue folks, especially an older adult driver. They could lose a lot of money in addition to really hurting someone. Next, make sure you have a plan in place. Can you schedule a driver? Can they use a ride share company? You can’t just tell an independent person that they can no longer drive without an action plan. 

Keep in mind that driving represents freedom and independence. Do you remember that feeling when you were 16 and got your first driver’s license? If you don’t have a plan in place, it can be devastating to tell an older adult that they can’t drive. It’s especially hard for men. The best plan is to get them on board with the idea. Perhaps, they cut our driving at night. Then maybe they stop driving long distances. 

Always remember to be respectful, ask permission to throw anything away and always have a plan of action in mind.

Happy Holidays!